


What Does Love Feel Like?

by Maraudererasmut



Series: Wolfstar Shorts [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Budding Love, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Love Confessions, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Friendship, Marauders' Era, Spring, jilly - Freeform, not smut, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 13:37:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15973418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maraudererasmut/pseuds/Maraudererasmut
Summary: Sirius gets serious during a conversation between himself and James. Remus is off somewhere, probably studying. (This is a sister story to  "Anatomy of a Bully". Both stories occur at the same time.)





	What Does Love Feel Like?

**Author's Note:**

> Another short story in the love tale that is Wolfstar. There's no actual wolfstar in this one, only allusions to that relationship. This belongs in the same series as some of my... smuttier works. This short focuses on the relationship between James and Sirius. They really were like brothers, after all. This work occurs at the same time as "Anatomy of a Bully", and the stories can be read in any order!
> 
> Again, I am still quite new to this, so constructive criticism is always welcome and encouraged!
> 
> Also, I apologize for posting so many stories in one day! I was just eager to get these up! 
> 
> Also also, I apologize for this one being so short. Poor Sirius can only take so much heart-to-heart before he explodes.

Remus Lupin didn’t want to hang out with the boys today and Sirius hated him for it. While Sirius, James and Peter were outside enjoying the warm spring weather and an escape from the castle, Remus was inside, crammed into a corner with his nose in a book. 

 

_ Nerd. _

 

Sirius decided to focus his attention on more important things than his dorky friend studying for exams. James had been tickling the squid ( _ Heh, tickling the squid)  _ for the past few minutes, and Sirius decided to join in. He pulled out his wand and sat back on the bank of the lake, casting spells at the tentacles that frothed excitedly in the water. 

 

“Uhhhh…” Peter began to complain. “I’m hungry…” Peter was always hungry; the fact that they just finished lunch an hour ago didn’t change a thing. 

 

“Anyone wanna come to the kitchens with me? I bet the elves have some good stuff left,” Peter suggested.

 

“Eh,” Sirius shrugged. He didn’t want to get up. 

 

“Sorry Pete,” James apologized. “I’m gonna stay here. The squid’s having fun,” he grinned, lifting it gently out of the water before releasing it with a splash. The squid lifted its tentacles playfully and slapped them against the water’s surface, hitting James in the face with a sudden spray. 

 

“Uhhhgg… Alright… See you guys in a bit,” Peter complained as he moped his way towards the castle. 

 

“See ya, Wormy!” Sirius called after him with a wave and a smug grin.

 

A silence fell over the two boys as they enjoyed each other’s company and teased the squid with magic. After a few moments, Sirius spoke up.

 

“James… Do you love Lily?”

 

The question took James aback for a moment. He looked down at Sirius sitting in the grass with a puzzled look on his face, before flopping down beside his best friend.

 

“Do I love Lily…” James repeated, pondering the question for a moment. “Uh… yeah, I think so.” A pause. “Why?”

 

Sirius looked down at the wand in his hands as he twirled it through his fingers, trying to find the words that came next.

 

“What does love feel like?” He asked after a brief silence.

 

“Iunno,” James responded, his confusion increasing. “I mean, I think about her all the time. Seeing her smile makes me happy. I can’t really imagine the rest of my life without her… I guess that’s what love feels like? What’s going on, Pads? Why are you asking me this?”

 

“But that’s the same way you feel about your friends, right? How do you know you love Lily?”

 

James looked at the sky for a moment, considering his answer before saying it aloud.

 

“Well, yeah, I guess I love my friends, too. But, like, in a different way, y’know? I mean, you guys are awesome and my best friends, but I’m not  _ into _ you like I am with Lily.”

 

Sirius fidgeted with his wand as the giant squid broke the silence with the occasional splash. 

 

“I think about Lily…” James continued after not getting a response from his friend. “But I also, you know,  _ think _ about her.” Still not satisfied that Sirius understood his meaning, he kept going. “Like, sexually.”

 

James’ face flushed slightly crimson beneath his large round glasses, and his hand instinctively raised up to ruffle his hair. Sirius didn’t see James blushing. His thoughts were focused on a single thing. 

 

“Sirius…” James said tentatively. He was looking right at his friend whose attention seemed to be focused on the particularly interesting length of his wand. “Sirius,” He continued, “Why are you asking me this? What’s up?”

 

Another long silence. James listened to the chirping of birds in their rustling trees, excitedly singing songs of spring. He laid back on the ground, arms under his head, closed his eyes, and let the rays of sun warm up his face. Sirius needed time to think, and James was willing to wait as long as necessary.

 

“James…” Sirius began. James waited patiently for the rest of the sentance, knowing that it could take a while for his friend to open up. 

 

“I think…” Sirius’ voice was soft and timid; unlike anything James had ever heard before. “I think I might be in love.”

 

James’ heart skipped a bit. Sirius was the last person he ever expected to fall in love. Ever the playboy, Sirius’ long list of sexual partners didn’t leave much room for romance and affection. 

 

“Who is she?” James asked, not expecting an answer. Sirius wasn’t ready to open up, and James had no intention of prying. 

 

“I’m scared,” Sirius said softly, almost inaudible to his friend beside him. Almost. 

 

James sat up abruptly and looked at Sirius, concern evident on his normally jovial face. 

“Sirius,” he began, before noticing Peter heading towards them, an armful of snacks and butterbeers. “Hey, Wormtail’s back. We’ll talk later, yeah?”

 

“Yeah…” Sirius mumbled. He ran his fingers through his hair and swept it back, a bright smile returning to his face. James had a feeling the smile was forced for Peter’s sake and his heart sank a little. It was a very realistic smile. How many other smiles had Padfoot forced that he hadn’t noticed before?

 

“Wormy! You brought Butterbeers!” Sirius exclaimed cheerfully. 

 

Peter grinned at the two boys sitting on the bank of the lake and plopped himself down next to James. Butterbeers were passed around and opened with a _ pop-fizz _ . 

 

“To best friends!” Peter cheerfully sang. 

 

“To love,” James continued, eyeing Sirius carefully. 

 

“To both,” Sirius said, a woeful expression marring his smile for a brief moment, before the cocky grin returned to his face.

 

“To the end of another amazing year at Home. Here’s hoping we all fail our exams and gain an extra year!” Sirius winked at his friends.

 

“Here’s hoping,” James playfully responded. 

 

The three boys clanged their bottles together and took deep swigs, letting the cool refreshing drink wash over them in the spring heat. 


End file.
